


A Near-Life Experience

by Leopardmask



Category: Hermitcraft
Genre: (cameo) - Freeform, Gen, I write things as platonic, Spookification, Vex Jevin, Zombies, brief blood and v mild gore, season 7, the suggestive line is a joke, there is one (1) mildly suggestive line
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 17:06:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29335767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leopardmask/pseuds/Leopardmask
Summary: Mumbo's Spookification Chamber caused minor chaos all across the community. It's a good thing he found a way to undo everyone's Halloween forms... right?
Comments: 10
Kudos: 38





	A Near-Life Experience

Being turned into an angel for Halloween did not have as many upsides as one might expect. It was a scary - or at least unpleasant - thing to be, and would have admittedly been some pretty funny irony... if it were just a costume. Actually being one, though? Not so fun.

Angels were practically the antithesis of zombies. Even dictionaries put them as far apart as possible. The only similarity was that Cleo was still not technically mortal, and didn't have to worry about food or a heartbeat or something on top of everything else.

Cleo hated being anything other than her usual zombie self. She hated her perfect skin and matching socks. She hated the halo that was constantly casting light onto her and everything around like a spotlight. She was pretty sure that  _ she _ glowed too, and she definitely hated that. She  _ really _ hated the extra power, extra energy that flowed through every step she took. It felt a little too much like the searing heat of a Smite-enchanted weapon - which she’d been on the wrong end of a few too many times for her liking. White, feathered wings replaced the elytra on her back, and the constant feeling that she should be in the air was disconcerting, to say the least. She was supposed to be a zombie; she belonged on the ground. Elytra had only ever been a necessity. 

She had gone into the spookification chamber out of curiosity, mostly, and came out kind of wishing she wasn’t so nosy. When Mumbo came up with a process to “un-spook” them, Cleo was one of the first ones in line. After she’d seen a few other hermits come out of it just fine, of course.

But for some people, the un-spookifying was a little more thorough than they wanted. For presumably being too scary, Impulse’s signature creeper-face t-shirt was redecorated. And Cleo...

\-----

<ZombieCleo> Hey, remember when you offered to pay me with a service?

<ZombieCleo> Specifically, killing someone

<xBCrafted> That offer is definitely still open :)

<ZombieCleo> good

<ZombieCleo> Have you done Mumbo’s un-spooker thing?

<xBCrafted> I was going to soon. Should I?

<ZombieCleo> No that’s perfect don’t do it yet

<xBCrafted> Why not?

<xBCrafted> Is something wrong with the unspooker?

<xBCrafted> did it do something horrible to you?

<xBCrafted> do I need to kill Mumbo

<ZombieCleo> Well

<ZombieCleo> In that order: not technically; yes; and maybe but that will come later

<ZombieCleo> I’m hiring you to kill me

xB stepped through the shopping district portal, where he had agreed to meet Cleo. She hadn't told him the specifics of why she needed his help, but...

Cleo was waiting for him near the portal. She looked frustrated, a little uncomfortable, and very  _ alive. _ Not a being from any sort of afterlife, just a normal, ordinary... human.

"Oh," xB realized when he saw her.

"Yeah," Cleo confirmed.

"What happened?" xB questioned. "Something with Mumbo's un-spooker-y thing?"

"Yep. See, here's a fun fact," Cleo explained. "The un-spooking thingummy doesn't actually reverse what the Spookificator did. It literally just does what it says on the tin. And that's fine for most people, but when I went over expecting to be turned back into a zombie, it decided 'no, no, a zombie is too scary. I know! We'll just turn her into a human instead.'"

"I can see how that might be a problem," xB agreed.

Cleo rolled her eyes at him. "Exactly. I did my time as a human last year, and I'm not particularly keen on having to do it again."

xB frowned in surprise. "Wait, really?"

"Long story." Cleo brushed it off. "Anyway. I need help becoming a zombie again."

"Okay," xB said. "So, where does me killing you come into all this?"

Cleo paused and gave him a look. When she realized the question was serious, she sighed and answered, "Because you are currently the zombie of the group right now? I kind of need someone I trust to help me out here, I’m not going to just go wandering out in the middle of the night and end up getting blown up by a creeper or something while I’m trying to do the thing.”

“Oh. Right. Are you sure you want  _ me _ to do this? I’ve only been this way for, what, like a week?”

_ “Yes, _ xB,” Cleo insisted. “Ideally, I’d have Carol do it again, but she’s not here, so you’re my next best option. I am  _ not _ subjecting myself to the brainless horde if I can possibly help it.”

When xB finally, reluctantly agreed, Cleo made a realization. “Hmm... it would be nice to have a safe place to go. If all goes to plan, I will need at least a bit of time to... recover. I don’t really fancy using either of our bases - I don’t exactly have a house at my zoo and you live miles away...”

xB snapped his fingers. “I know a place. Can-  _ will _ you keep a secret?”

\-----

Cleo shrieked as she found herself suddenly falling into an excessively grandiose, almost temple-like underground chamber. A carpeted table cushioned her fall, and she rolled to one side as xB dropped down after her.

“What on...” Cleo examined her surroundings more carefully. “Oh, of course, I should have known. This is where your little ‘Resistance’ gang comes to hang out, isn’t it?”

“It is!” xB said proudly. “And no one even knows it’s here. You’re the only non-Resistance person to ever be invited in. Unless, of course, you feel like joining our cause...”

“Absolutely not,” Cleo declared. “I’d rather just watch you idiots go at it, quite honestly. But back to the topic at hand, here.”

“Right, yeah.”

The two stared awkwardly at one another for a moment, xB clearly not sure how to proceed. Cleo noticed with amusement that xB’s eyes were drifting toward her chest. If she didn’t know from experience what he was actually focusing on, she might have been offended.

xB wrenched his gaze back to Cleo’s face. She crossed her arms and arched her eyebrows teasingly. “I-I’m sorry,” xB stammered. “It’s just... I can hear your heartbeat... it’s...”

“Enticing?” Cleo finished. “Oh believe me, I know.” She was beginning to realize that xB might need a little bit of encouragement. “Don’t you just want to... to tear right into it? To sink your teeth into a human, to get to that heart and make it  _ stop?” _

Cleo watched in satisfaction as xB’s posture slackened ever so slightly, his eyes dulled. Those instincts she needed from him were there, alright - he had just been thinking a little too much like a human. “There you go,” Cleo coaxed. “Zombie xB knows what to do. Come on...”

She backed up a few steps, watching him follow, then turned and started to jog down one wing of the base. If she looked like prey-

In a startling burst of speed, xB grabbed her. His claw-like nails dug into her arms. Cleo struggled half-heartedly in his grip - both to make her victimhood convincing, and because, despite Cleo having expressly asked for this, her human body did not particularly want to die.

Sharp teeth sank into her shoulder, right at the base of her neck. Cleo stifled a cry of pain, knowing that if she made any sound of distress, xB would halt again for fear of hurting her, and this would never actually get done. She felt her racing heart start to slow... to slow... to stop.

xB recoiled in horror, almost dropping Cleo as she fell limp in his arms.

\-----

xB laid Cleo gently on the meeting room table and backed away. He had done exactly what Cleo had asked him to. But it felt so  _ wrong. _

He scooped some water out of the decorative trough near the pillars and drank a bit. It was stale and tasted like mushrooms and feet, but at least it sort of covered up the lingering taste of human flesh.

xB paced impatiently for a little while, then decided to find a way to mop up the blood in the hallway. He didn’t want it reminding him -  _ tempting  _ him. Thankfully, it was only in one area; once Cleo had fallen, she quickly stopped bleeding at all. xB sat down in his chair, resting his elbows on the table and watching Cleo. He was determined to stay down here for as long as it took for her to wake up - or to fully die and respawn elsewhere. He didn’t know which to expect.

In a windowless room, with no need for sleep, it was hard to keep track of time. xB checked his communicator’s clock every so often, and kept himself occupied by chatting with the other hermits. Not many of them questioned that they weren’t seeing him around much; that was one advantage of having such a faraway base. People just assumed he was spending his time working on a project over there, and no one would happen to pass by and check in. He did have to tell the other Resistance members some vague details, to make sure they stayed out, and they agreed with varying degrees of reluctance. He might be acting suspiciously, but he didn’t really have a choice.

After almost a day, xB got a message from Jevin.

<iJevin> -> <xBCrafted> hey man, you sure you don’t need anything?

<iJevin> -> <xBCrafted> like food

<iJevin> -> <xBCrafted> what are you using the base for anyway

<xBCrafted> -> <iJevin> there is some food down here 

<xBCrafted> -> <iJevin> and I told you, I just need the space for a thing

<xBCrafted> -> <iJevin> Nothing to worry about

<iJevin> -> <xBCrafted> yeah no you’re acting super weird. I’m coming over there.

<xBCrafted> -> <iJevin> Fine, just don’t drop willy-nilly onto the table, ok?

<xBCrafted> -> <iJevin> Look before you leap :)

A few minutes later, Jevin poked his head through the wall, making xB jump. “I forget you can do that,” xB laughed.

“I forget sometimes too,” Jevin chuckled, folding his wings. “But you did say not to come in the normal way.” He glanced around, his eyes landing on the table. “Cleo call you in for a favor?”

“You catch on quick.” xB sounded impressed.

Jevin smirked. “I’m in a room with a zombie and a dead human, in the wrong order. It wasn’t too hard to work out.”

“You got me there,” xB admitted. “So, am I free from suspicion now?”

“I’d say so, yeah,” Jevin replied casually. “Oh, and here.” He tossed xB a stack of porkchops. “Fresh from the hoglin farm. I wasn’t sure if you  _ needed  _ it, but I thought it might be appreciated.”

“Thanks, man.” xB caught them and immediately started gnawing on one. “You gonna stick around or head out?”

“Depends,” Jevin shrugged. “You need me for anything more?”

“Could you maybe grab a couple things for us?” xB decided. “I don’t want to leave until she’s awake.”

\-----

Cleo blinked faintly into consciousness. She rolled over and found herself face to face with a very much still zombified xB. His eyes widened, and he grinned. “Hi!”

“Hi,” Cleo replied, doing a mental once-over. “I think... yep, I’m definitely back to normal, if a little, uh, hungover from the change.”

“Oh thank goodness,” xB said in a rush. “I mean... I’m absolutely glad for you, for one thing. But this also means I can go un-spook myself and get  _ myself _ back to normal ASAP.”

“What, you don’t like the undead ‘lifestyle’?” Cleo teased. But her smile left when she saw the distress on xB’s face. “Oh. You... really don’t, do you?”

“I  _ was _ okay with it,” xB explained. “Like, it wasn’t great, but when I was just working on my base and stuff I could mostly ignore it, right? I just had to stay away from my villagers a bit and use the fire resist you gave me. But coming here, being around people... hearing,  _ smelling  _ living people... a-and then-” xB’s voice hitched. “Then when- when you- you did something to me, didn’t you? You did something, you  _ made _ me do that-”

“I didn’t,” Cleo said softly. “All I did was play off a zombie’s natural instincts. You agreed to this - I just  _ convinced _ you to follow through.”

xB shuddered. “I  _ still taste blood, _ Cleo. A whole day, you were out, and it’s still there. Human flesh and blood. The worst part is, it’s not bad- what am I saying? You know all this. You... How do you handle it?”

“Practice, I guess,” Cleo murmured. “xB, I am so, so sorry. I didn’t realize... it didn’t occur to me just how badly you - or anyone, really - might react to… what you had to do.” She gave him a rueful smile. “I haven’t ever even turned anyone myself, did you know that? I’d never tried - never particularly wanted to, to be honest - yet here I was, expecting my friend who’s been a zombie for all of a week and has barely even killed anyone since to be totally ready for that. That wasn’t very fair of me, was it?”

xB returned her smile. “I guess not. I don’t regret helping you out, by the way. I just...”

“Regret that it had to be you?” Cleo finished. xB nodded.

“Well,” Cleo said, “I’m thankful that you did it anyway. And after all that, you didn’t even leave to turn yourself human again while I was out?”

“I had no idea how long it would take,” xB admitted. “I didn’t want to leave you here alone. Plus I wanted to be ready, just in case something didn’t work the first time, you know?”

“At this point you definitely deserve to get yourself back to normal,” Cleo declared. She tried to stand up, but sat back down, looking dizzy. “Oh. Hm.”

“Oh, that reminds me-” xB reached into his inventory through a pocket of his jacket, and pulled out two potions, one in each hand. “Healing, and harming,” he indicated in turn. He handed them both to Cleo. “I wasn’t sure which you’d need.” Then he pulled out two fire resistance potions, setting one down next to her. “And one of these for each of us.”

Cleo set down the healing potion and sipped at the harming potion. “Yep, that’s the one. That was very thoughtful of you. When did you even get these, though? You said you hadn’t left.”

“I couldn’t stop Jev from a quick visit,” xB admitted. “And we are right under- I mean, I asked him to grab those.”

He held out his potion, and they clinked the bottles in a brief toast. Both winced at the taste and effect. “Been awhile since I had a full-strength one of these,” Cleo commented. “The ones I keep around, and the ones I gave you, those are diluted - they’re only effective against sunlight, but they are more pleasant to drink.”

As they walked toward the exit of the base, xB joked, “So, once I’ve un-spooked myself and I’m human again, do you still want me to kill Mumbo too?”

Cleo laughed. “I mean, I’m guessing you’ll want to kill him  _ more _ now. So yes, absolutely. But only if I get to help.”

**Author's Note:**

> wait what do you mean it's _February?_


End file.
